Monday, December 22, 2008
Time to Celebrate! Wooooohoooooo!!!
Hello, dear friends and wonderful readers!
The holidays are a time to celebrate; to celebrate family, a new year, traditions both family and religious. No matter what your celebrations include it is my wish that they include one very special celebration, the celebration of YOU!! It is my sincerest request that you take time to celebrate you, for all that you are and all that you have done this past year.
Celebrating you does not have to cost an arm and a leg. It can be as simple as taking 30 minutes of quiet time to soak in a tub or read a book. It could be enjoying that piece of chocolate cake, buying yourself a CD, writing yourself a "thank you" note. Whatever the act of celebrating you choose, I hope you enjoy soaking it in. You deserve to be celebrated.
So now I raise my glass (errr...cup of coffee) to you in celebration!!
May 2009 be YOUR best year ever!!
Happy Holidays, Peace and Love,
Pam
Posted by Pam at 3:06:50 PM in Creating Change (98) | Permalink | Comments (0)
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Challenges; Greet or Scream?
So how do you greet a challenge or a challenging person, for that matter? Do you curse? Do scream "NO!" really loud? Do you moan a lot? What do you do?
I used to scream at challenges (not challenging people) and I used to moan, as well as complain a lot. I would do so because I thought it would make me feel better. Oh, and believe me, it did, but only for a short while.
Well, I recently had an "a-ha" moment regarding challenges and challenging people which I would love to pass along to you...
Now when a challenge or a challenging person comes up on my radar screen I look at it as a chance for learning and growth. Rather than moan loudly, complain, kick my feet, I now ask myself, "What am I meant to learn from this situation or this person?"
Let me tell you friends, even if an answer does not come right away, it takes the edge off and puts me in a better frame of mind to push on through. By asking that question I am no longer giving my power over to the challenge or the challenging person and I can't tell you the difference it has made (i.e. more peace, confidence, clarity, and less stress).
So the next time you are faced with a challenge or a challenging person, rather than scream at it, try greeting it with, "What am I meant to learn?"
Have a great weekend!
Peace and Love,
Pam
P.S. Some food for thought: The Universe only puts in our path the things we are meant to master. Once we have mastered them, they are less likely to appear.
Posted by Pam at 2:15:10 PM in Creating Change (98) | Permalink | Comments (2)
Sunday, December 07, 2008
The Power of Intentions
I recently got my hands on a great book by Rich Gorman and Robin Hoch called Living the Law of Attraction: Real Stories of People Manifesting Health, Wealth, and Happiness
Without further hesitation last Friday I set the following intentions;
Personal Intention: I intend to have fun and share fun today, and to be in a place of joy and peacefulness.
Intention for Others: I intend great joy and happiness for all my loved ones, friends, colleagues, clients, and readers.
I set the intention, which in turn created awareness (remember from awareness comes choice), and then I chose to do things and approach my day from a very joyful place. And guess what? I'll be damned if I didn't have a super fun day, filled with joy and peacefulness. So now I plan to do this little exercise every day; looking forward to utilizing the power of intention in a wonderfully fun and profound way.
I hope you will join me in the fun of setting daily intentions! What intentions can you set for yourself and others? Give it whirl, it won't cost you any money, just five minutes of your time each day.
Posted by Pam at 6:11:50 PM in Creating Change (98) | Permalink | Comments (2)
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Give the Gift that Keeps on Giving: YOU!
Just recently I gave a presentation to a group of dynamic women. As I was listening to their introductions it struck me just how much transition, stress, and even pain was in the room. Some of these amazing women were really reaching out for a life line and a way to make things better. Now normally I start my presentations with a bit of background, i.e. my certification as a coach, etc., but this time was much different. This time, as I stood in front of the group I felt the compelling urge to share in their pain by sharing my own personal story.I shared how seven years ago my world completely changed, actually, it pretty much fell apart. I was in the midst of a divorce, getting adjusted to being a single mom, not making ends meet financially and so I was living off of credit cards to ensure my son and I had food on the table. The situation looked and felt grim at best and I was really floundering. (You know it's true that during times of stress and strive, it is so easy to get caught up in the fear of it all and to lose sight of who we are and what we want.)
While I wouldn't wish those circumstances on anyone, I'm not sorry that I experienced the stress, fear, and even the pain. To be honest, it was the kick in the pants that I really needed. It was at that pivotal moment when I knew something had to change. I had to change. In order to do so I really had to do some soul searching and find out who I was at my very core. What's funny, at the time I didn't realize how not knowing me was contributing to all the turmoil. It wasn't until I started coaching and working with a coach that the penny dropped.
Today, I'm in a place that's HUGELY different to where I was seven years ago. No more living off credit cards, no more struggling, not as much fear, very little pain and stress. I have more confidence in myself and my abilities, and deeper trust/faith in knowing that I can be, do, and have the things I want as long as whatever it is, is completely in alignment with who I am. I'm living proof that life can and does turn around for the better.
If anything I have shared sounds familar to you then please consider getting to know who you are at your very core. Take some time to explore you. Make that commitment to yourself, because you deserve to have the best. In turn, I am making the commitment to support as many people as I can to really connect with who they are, to feel more confident, to eradicate the fears, to be the very best they can be in this New Year.
With that said, I'm offering another group coaching program beginning in January (for more information, please visit willtherealu.com). I made an announcement on the site that if folks sign up by December 1st they can register for a discounted rate of $495.00 for the four month program, which is a savings of $165 (the equivalent of one free month). However, I would like to offer the following; for the first 12 people to complete the application by November 19th, I will offer them the entire program for $250.00 (a savings of $410 for the entire program) as my holiday gift. In addition, I will be awarding scholarships to two people.
Participants will receive the following:
- Two, one hour group coaching sessions per month via phone
- One, 45 minute individual coaching session per month via phone
- A monthly buddy call with another participant in the program
- The e-workbook series Will the Real YOU Please Step Forward
- Access to a private online area where you can interact with other group participants in between calls
Some benefits for participating...
*Group support and encouragement
*Connection with liked-minded people.
*Safe, confidential space to share and grow
*When you strengthen your inner self, stress and tolerations are dramatically reduced
*Changes from the inside out
*More peace and balance
*Awareness and clarity around who you are and what you want
*Accountability
Space is limited to 10 people per session so if you are interested, apply today.
Together, we can make things happen. Together we can end the stress, the pain, and the transition.
Posted by Pam at 3:12:43 PM in Creating Change (98) | Permalink | Comments (0)
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Plugging Into That High Voltage Energy
I don't know about you, but all the negativity surrounding the current state of affairs (i.e. the economy and the election) is enough to drive me bonkers and become a real energy drain. Yesterday was the first day in a really long time that I felt the heaviness to the degree where I wanted to throw up my hands and scream, "Screw it (OK, so I was thinking of something a bit more colorful, but this is a family show), I'm done!" (Not done as in ending it all, just done with all the crap.) Instead of running down the street screaming like a banji I decided it was time to get the ol' energy flowing on high again.
When times are tough and feel heavy beyond measure, one of the worst things we can do is to tap into the negativity. Tapping into the negativity is not only a real energy drain, but it supports the creation of more negativity. So during those times it is important to unplug from the negative charge and plug into some high voltage energy. I know, I know, it's easier said then done, but I promise you it is possible (and I don't make promises lightly, my friends.)
Case in point; yesterday when the heaviness was creeping in, I did a few things that helped to lighten the mood and increase my energy (not necessarily in the following order);
1) I didn't try and stuff my feelings in the bottom of my sock drawer. I felt them through, said "hello" to them and acknowledged their presence.
2) I got present and out of the land of the "what ifs" (which is located in the future). I did so by taking stock of the things surrounding me, reminding myself that in that present moment I was a-OK.
3) I played some music.
4) I rested when I needed to.
5) I spoke with a dear friend and had some good laughs. (Thank you, Jon.)
6) I avoided negative and heavy conversations.
7) I listened to some more music (my son's marching band) while sitting outside, enjoying the nice fall weather. The breeze blowing in my face and through my hair, watching my son, and the fun music was a great pick me up.
8) I wrote and got some important thoughts down in my journal.
9) I hugged my son (multiple times).
10) I watched some comedy and laughed some more.
My dear friends, it is time to unplug from all the negative and plug into some of the good stuff. What brings you joy? What lifts you up? What gives you a positive charge? When you feel the energy draining and your mood going South stop and tap into the things that make you laugh, that spur feelings of love, that pull you into the present moment. There is nothing like plugging into some high voltage fun to get your energy levels up; charging with positive energy is better than charging with negative energy any day of the week.
Posted by Pam at 12:58:00 PM in Creating Change (98) | Permalink | Comments (2)
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Hostage NO More
Today's the day when we work on releasing ourselves from other people's thoughts and perceptions. Yep, that's right!
Let me explain by sharing a little story....
During my coach training (many moons ago) I was sitting in class with a group of my colleagues where the topic of conversation was about what other people think of us. The room was an absolute buzz, almost chaotic; it was clear that we were all very much hooked by the fear of what other people thought of us as people and as coaches. All of the sudden, the faculty leader softly said, "It's none of your business what other people think of you." The room fell silent and then this internal dialogue began to play in my head;
"What!?"
"What do you mean it's none of my business what other people think of me?"
"Ummm...I have made it my business my entire life."
:::::Enter the cosmic 2x4, whacking Pam upside the head::::
It was at that moment that I had one of the hugest "a-ha moments" of my life. I was living my life as a hostage to other people's thoughts. I was not moving forward as quickly because I was scared to death of what other people might think of me. It then occurred to me (in DUH-Like fashion -- visualize me slapping my forehead) that I have absolutely no control over what other people think. The only control I have is over me, how I show up, and how I choose to respond to other people.
End of story...
So my friends I will say this to you, if you struggle with the same fear of what other people think of you it really is none of your business... and I will add, but it is your business what you think of you!!
It is my request that you consider ways to increase your own perception of you (if you haven't done so already). What do you need to support you in building up your own self worth and confidence in who you are?
Have a great weekend!!
Posted by Pam at 3:01:36 PM in Creating Change (98) | Permalink | Comments (2)
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Beating the Hard Times With a Positively Smashing 2x4
For those of you who know me, you know that I am not much into beatings with a metaphoric 2x4. One of the only purposes (IMHO) a metaphoric 2x4 serves is to inflict further injury or self deprecation. HOWEVER, I have found a more positive purpose for the 2x4; use it to smack the living daylights out of negativity during what might be considered hard times. Let's face it folks, you and I both know that we could easily become bloody pulps, as there is so much negativity in the air right now (particularly the news), not to mention fear and desperation.
So my dear readers and friends, I would like to encourage you try some of the following positive 2x4 swinging techniques to beat the crap out of any negativity that may be looming (and to protect yourself):
1. Smile big and smile often. There is this great quote, "Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to." I did that all day yesterday, every where I went I just smiled. It was great to see the looks and even get smiles back.
2. Cop that attitude of gratitude. If you are feeling on the verge of negativity, stop whatever it is you are doing and start thanking the Universe for all the good that's surrounding you, everything you have in your life right now that is awesome and positive. ("Thank you for my health" OR "I am so grateful for my family and friends.")
3. Bury your head in the sand. No, I'm not talking about avoiding reality. What I am talking about is choosing the news to read and watch wisely. Getting caught up in all the garbage and subjecting yourself to a constant barage of dark news is not going to help raise your energy level or keep you positive. So keep the negative news to a minimum.
4. Avoid negative conversations. As an example, at the gym people were talking (or complaining) about the bail out bill so rather than engage, I chose to disengage and involve myself in another conversation. Just like with your news, choose your conversations wisely. Try to engage in conversations that give you energy rather than take it away.
5. Come from a place of love and peace. Just because others might be rude or even inconsiderate (read; cut you off in traffic, exhibit signs of "it's all about me" syndrome, etc.) that doesn't mean you have to follow suit. Try doing the exact opposite, i.e. let someone merge in front of you in traffic, ask another person how they are and really mean it; you might be surprised by the outcome and how it makes you feel.
6. Keep breathing! When negativity is bearing down we often forget to keep breathing; our breathing becomes shallow and faster. Try breathing in and out deeply three times.
7. Acknowledge someone sincerely for something they did or because of who they are. Not only will the act of acknowledging put a smile on someone's face or make them stand up straighter, but it will support your efforts to remain in a positive frame of mind.
8. Have fun and laugh a lot. Need I say more?
Lets not let what is happening in our world today bring us down. Join me in swinging that 2x4 not at ourselves, but at the negativity. Ready? On your mark, get set, swing!
Posted by Pam at 6:30:40 PM in Creating Change (98) | Permalink | Comments (0)
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Your Well-Being Can't Be Found in a Pouch of Instant
We live in a world where instant gratification and instant results seems to be a theme; instant (or near instant) weight loss, instant meals, instant answers, you name it. What happened to taking some things slowly, putting in the effort, and exploring? Please don't get me wrong, I am not criticizing the "instant" industry or anyone who partakes in it; sometimes I like to get instant results too, however, what I have come to realize, instant answers are not always the right answers especially when it comes to our emotional and mental well-being.
Why aren't instant answers the way to go?
Sometimes those instant answers only deal with the symptoms, providing us with temporary relief. Think about it, in order to kill a weed for good you have to get to the roots, or the source. If you just pull the weed and leave the roots, guess what? The weed comes back. The same holds true with the issues that often rear their heads on the emotional and mental well-being front. Getting to the source of any issue, whether it is fear, limiting beliefs or tolerations sometimes takes time, but most importantly it takes awareness as to what is causing those issues.
Awareness really is key and if we are zooming along trying to find that "quick fix" we may miss out on the signs that lead to the awareness we need in order to find the long-lasting answers. So the next time you're in the mood for a "quick fix" to one of life's more complex issues, please take the time to ask yourself the following, "Would I benefit more from temporary relief or long-term relief?" 
Please never discount the fact that you are worth making the effort. Take time to explore and look for the source rather than grab for the "latest and greatest" instant solution. Leave the instant to coffee, tea, and even fast food, but not your mental and emotional well-being.
Posted by Pam at 2:06:39 PM in Creating Change (98) | Permalink | Comments (0)
Sunday, September 07, 2008
What Do YOU Choose?
My friends, let me ask you something, do you find that you sometimes take on someone else's...
...bad mood?
...insecurities?
...anger?
...hatred?
...fear?
If you answered "yes" to any of the options it may be time to take stock in the energy that you are sharing with the world. Remember, my friends, as harsh as this may sound like attracts like. If you are a fan of the Law of Attraction you will recall that our own energy levels (vibrations) attract similar energy levels (vibrations). Which means that if you are thinking and feeling negatively, there is a good chance that more negative vibes will come your way. Sounds pretty rotten doesn't it?
Well, guess what? There is good news!
The good news is, you have a choice. You can choice the energy level you wish to operate from and you can choose not to allow others' emotional messes to become your mess. I was reminded of this last night as I was reading the awesome book Feel It Real!: A Guided Approach to Bringing the Law of Attraction into Your Life
In the book the author Denise Coates shares a powerful story about a man full of hatred who traveled to see Buddha. When he met Buddha, rather than share kindness and love, he chose to curse, swear, and call Buddha names. Never once did Buddha fall prey to the man's hateful behavior. Seeing that his behavior was having no impact upon Buddha, the hateful man grew weary. Buddha turned to the man and asked him, "If a man brings me a gift and I refuse to accept it, to whom does the gift belong?" The man responded by saying that the gift belonged to the gift giver. To which Buddha replied, "Then if you come to me with a gift of hatred and I refuse to accept it, to whom does the hatred belong?" With that the man realized that his hatred only belonged to him and no one else.
So the next time you find yourself taking on someone else's mess, ask yourself the following,
"Do I choose to accept or refuse this gift?"
and
"Do I choose to come from a place of love and positivity or a place of sadness and negativity?"
From awareness comes choice. The choice really is YOURS!
Posted by Pam at 10:50:02 PM in Creating Change (98) | Permalink | Comments (0)
Monday, September 01, 2008
Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda
"I should ..."
"I would have ..."
"I could have ..."
Does the beginning of those three sentences sound familiar?
Let me flesh them out a bit more in case you don't recognize them.
"I should lose weight."
"I would have lost weight a long time ago if only I had the will power."
"I could have lost weight if I had the money to join a gym."
What do you think now?
I'm going to let you in on a little secret; they are really familiar to me, like an old pair of shoes two sizes too small. I used to shoulda, woulda, coulda all over myself all the time when it came to goals and intentions. As a matter of fact, I still catch myself doing so every once in awhile. When it comes to goals and intentions, believe it or not, the shoulda, woulda, couldas serve a valuable purpose; they are great little indicators as to how important what we are trying to achieve is to us personally. Yep, that's right, they are our own little pocket gauges but sadly we don't use them as such. We often use them as the proverbial 2x4 upside the head. OUCH! A means to make us feel wronged or worse, feel like failures.
So I'd like to ask you to do me a HUGE favor right here, right now (it's a three part favor, by the way). The first part of the favor is to step away from the 2x4, put it away, shred it in the wood shredder, burn it on a bonfire. Do whatever you need to do, just get rid of it. The next thing I would like to request is that you become aware of your shoulda, woulda, coulda vernacular. And the last part of the favor is, if you are shoulda, woulda, coulda-ing all over yourself, please ask yourself one of the following questions;
- "On a scale of 1-10 (one being a low score) how important is this goal to me?"
If your response is a 5 or less, please be honest with yourself, how likely are you to carry out whatever it is you are shoulda, woulda, coulda-ing yourself over? Things that score low on the importance scale also score low on the priority scale and are more likely to be placed on the backburner, in the back of the closet, or stuffed in the back of our minds.
- "Is this something I wish to do or something someone said I should do?"
Let's face it, when we are trying to accomplish a goal that is someone else's and not our own, we are less likely to see it through to fruition. Why? Because it's not ours. It is not in alignment with who we are and our core values.
- "How will this serve me in being my best self?"
If your answer is,"It won't" then please reconsider your reasonings for trying to take action on a goal that will not serve you.
Here is to using the shoulda, woulda, couldas as goal setting success tools, (as opposed to the opposite) until you don't need them anymore.
Posted by Pam at 4:56:37 PM in Creating Change (98) | Permalink | Comments (0)
Sunday, August 17, 2008
What Does It Take? A Healthy Relationship Meter
Relationships are funny little creatures and in taking stock of some of my own I have discovered something; in order to have healthy relationships (friendship, romantic, business) the following things should be present (for me); they make up my healthy relationship meter:
1) The ability and space to be who you are. If you have to be someone you're not, that creates room for games, feelings of disconnect with one's own self (the "Who Am I Being? Syndrome"), hurt, embarrassment, and possibly the loss of integrity.
Some signs to look out for: Saying and doing things that you would not normally say and do, a feeling of uneasiness, always questioning yourself in the relationship.
How genuine is the relationship going to be out of the gate if either person is showing up as someone they're not?
2) Room to grow and the support to do so; no shackles or tethers. As we go through life we learn and as a result we grow. Growth is a good thing!
Some signs to look out for: Criticism and put-downs from the other person, especially during times of growth and positive change. Increased signs of insecurity from your partner and the need for continual reassurance that they are OK in your eyes.
3) No emotional games allowed. There is never a winner in an emotional game.
Some signs to look out for: Emotional blackmail ("If you loved me you would..."), a constant push and pull (pushing you away and then pulling you in when a distance has been created).
4) Equal balance of give and take. When there is an imbalance one person always walks away feeling depleted, used, or unimportant.
Some signs to look out for: Your partner, friend, or colleague spends most of their time focusing on themselves in almost every conversation (self obsessed or self absorbed behavior); one person is putting in most of the effort to make the relationship work. Having to constantly hold your partner/friend/colleague upright emotionally. Feeling completely drained after a conversation.
5) Direct and open communication. No person is a mind-reader so it is important to be able to constructively communicate wants, dislikes, expectations, etc.
Some signs to look out for: An applied assumption that you should always know what your partner/friend/colleague wants, increased resentment, and frustration.
6) Mutual respect. Without mutual respect lines get crossed and feelings get hurt.
Some signs to look out for: The crossing of personal boundaries, exhibiting behavior that is belittling, embarrassing, and at the expense of the other person.
Healthy relationships take two people who are equally committed to the relationship and being the best they can be. So what's your meter for determining whether you are engaging in healthy relationships?
Posted by Pam at 6:09:45 PM in Creating Change (98) | Permalink | Comments (0)
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Ask and You Will Receive
Every once in a while I get a major brain cramp which leads to writer’s block. Today was no exception. As I sat here with my cup of coffee in hand asking myself, "OK, what do I want to write about?", nothing came to mind. Then I remembered, I have these beautiful cards created by Sonia Choquette and when I am lacking creative juices it sometimes helps to pull a card.
The first card I pulled was the Pray card and as I read the description of the card I thought, "What wisdom could I possibly share about praying?" So I pulled another card; the Call on Your Angels card. Hmmm, are you detecting a bit of a theme here?
All the sudden I go from no idea to two ideas in the pull of the card (or cards); I could either write about paying attention to themes that present themselves or I could write about asking for guidance. Then it dawned on me, "Duh, Pam…you were asking for inspiration and you were given an answer."
I don't think I was actually meant to focus on the real meaning of the cards, but the bigger message; when you are at a loss, when you are lacking direction, or answers are evading you, ask a question from your heart to whatever deity or source you look to for support (God, Buddha, your guardian angels, spirit guides, an intuitive, the Universe...) then let it go, be present and patient, and see what appears.
Sometimes the answers come instantly (like in my case today – thank you!), while other times the answers come in due time and when you least expect it. Just know and have faith that all heartfelt questions do receive answers, so ask and you will receive.
Posted by Pam at 3:03:18 PM in Creating Change (98) | Permalink | Comments (0)
Sunday, July 13, 2008
What is Your Heart Telling You?
When it comes to the things we really want but are afraid of, we often seek the counsel of our heads. We often listen to that little voice that says things like, "You could never do that!" "Oh my, what if you fail? Or What if you succeed, then you will have to keep it up." We listen to that voice until we find reason to not move forward with the things we want. While it is not always a bad thing to listen to our heads, in doing so we sometimes neglect what is truly in our hearts. For it’s in our hearts, that’s where the good stuff resides. Our hearts hold the answers and the support we need, we just have to have faith and we just have to listen.
So I dare you to listen to your heart, what is it saying to you?
Is it telling you to be bold?
Is it telling you to love like you have never loved before?
Is it telling you that you rock and are totally amazing?
Be still and listen.
I'm almost saddened by thought of where I might be today if I had not listened to my own heart and believed in its wisdom; chances are I would still be in a marriage that was not working for either of us. I might even still be playing it safe in a career that didn't suit me, working for someone else and not following my own dreams. I may still be hiding in the shadows afraid to share my real self with the world, fearful that the real me would not be accepted.
I'm glad I have taken chances. I am glad I have listened to my heart and I am thrilled with the results. So the next time you really want something, but are afraid to take the leap, ask your heart and listen carefully to what it tells you. You won't be sorry.
Posted by Pam at 10:29:46 PM in Creating Change (98) | Permalink | Comments (0)
Saturday, July 05, 2008
Silence is Golden
Silence is a beautiful thing. Silence provides us with a break from all the buzz. It affords us some breathing space. It can be a sanctuary from the hustle and bustle of the day-to-day. As a coach, I have found it to be one of the most powerful coaching tools in my coaching toolbox; when you use silence you give the other person the time and the space to reflect on the question/comment before responding. Silence is truly golden and something I don’t think we take advantage of enough.
It is my wish that you give yourself the gift of silence for just 10 minutes a day. Find some place to sit quietly, take some deep breathes, and just relax. Let your mind go where it needs to go. Oh, and if you want to try something really fun, try asking yourself a question and then go silent. See what happens, as you might be pleasantly surprised.
Have fun soaking in the silence. Peace and quiet be with you all!
Posted by Pam at 4:37:58 PM in Creating Change (98) | Permalink | Comments (3)
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Don't Forget
Forgiving is not about forgetting the old story. It's about giving a chance to write a new story - Quote from the book “Cinderella on the Couch”, by Chris Linnares.
Most recently I came to the tough realization that I was still holding on to some past hurt from my childhood. Heck, I am 41 years old, but there was a part of me that was still hurting over things said to me when I was a young child and a teenager. Reliving those past memories not only hurt, but I began to feel powerless all over again, which resulted in anger.
Here is some food for thought; holding on to anger or resentment from past hurts only holds us back and prevents us from fully moving forward. Think about it, how can we truly move forward if part of us is still sitting smack dab in the middle of a past hurt?
In order to fully move forward, to be a part of my own here and now, I decided to “write a new story”. I have not forgotten the things that hurt, but instead I asked myself the following question, “What did I learn and what positives did I take away from this situation?”
Focusing on what I learned and the positives not only helped me to shift my energy from negative to positive, but I regained my personal power. I am no longer that little girl or that teenager who felt small and insignificant. I can now embrace the me that I am right now; a woman who is not a quitter and who is willing to fight for what's most important to her.
So let me ask you this, how will you write your story? What's one thing you wish to “unhook” from emotionally, one thing from your past that causes you pain? I wish to encourage to think of ways to write a new story so that pain is no longer drawing you back. Think of the things (at least one thing) you gained from the experience. It could be that you learned how you don't wish to be or how you don't ever wish to treat another person. It could be that you gained strength from the experience. Believe it or not, out of all bad/painful experiences there is some good to be had. Here's to not forgetting, but forgiving and letting go.
Posted by Pam at 6:09:54 PM in Creating Change (98) | Permalink | Comments (0)
Monday, May 12, 2008
Independence from the Chaos, Stress, and Madness
In the United States July is the month to celebrate independence. While folks may be celebrating a country's independence, I would like to mark July as the start to breaking free from the following:
Stress
Insecurities
The feeling of being stuck
Lack of passion and purpose
Tolerations
Fears
...to name just a few things that hold us back and keep us from reaching our fullest potential; living a life that we desire and deserve.
It is my wish that each one of you experiences the freedom to be who you truly are so you can have what you really want. It is my desire and goal to support you in doing just that, being the real you and doing and having things that are in integrity with who you truly are.
Please join me starting July 10, 2008 for a four month intensive based upon the e-workbooks Will the Real YOU Please Step Forward. I am opening up this group coaching program to ONLY 10 people so if you are interested in:
1) Knowing what makes you tick
2) Attracting what you really want in your life
3) Letting go of any fears that are keeping you from living your life to the fullest
4) Eradicating any tolerations that are weighing you down
5) Finding your passion and purpose; claiming it once and for all
6) Gaining the power to be who you want to be, do what you want to do and have what you want to have
7) Learning how to create sticky intentions
Please contact me to set up a brief interview. Participants will receive the following:
- Two, one hour group coaching sessions per month via phone
- One, 45 minute individual coaching session per month via phone
- A monthly buddy call with another participant in the program
- The e-workbook series Will the Real YOU Please Step Forward
- Access to a private online area where you can interact with other group participants in between calls
Some benefits for participating...
*Group support and encouragement
*Connection with liked-minded people.
*Safe, confidential space to share and grow
*When you strengthen your inner self, stress and tolerations are dramatically reduced
*Changes from the inside out
*More peace and balance
*Awareness and clarity around who you are and what you want
*Accountability
The program schedule is as follows:
July 10th: First Group Coaching Call @ 9pm ET, 8pm CT, 7pm MT, 6pm PT
July 17th: Second Group Coaching Call @ 9pm ET, 8pm CT, 7pm MT, 6pm PT
Week of July 21st: Individual Coaching Call (scheduled individually)
Week of July 28th: Buddy calls
August 7th: First Group Coaching Call @ 9pm ET, 8pm CT, 7pm MT, 6pm PT
August 14th: Second Group Coaching Call @ 9pm ET, 8pm CT, 7pm MT, 6pm PT
Week of August 18th: Individual Coaching Call (scheduled individually)
Week of August 25th: Buddy calls
September 4th: First Group Coaching Call @ 9pm ET, 8pm CT, 7pm MT, 6pm PT
September 11th: Second Group Coaching Call @ 9pm ET, 8pm CT, 7pm MT, 6pm PT
Week of September 15th: Individual Coaching Call (scheduled individually)
Week of September 22nd: Buddy calls
October 2nd: First Group Coaching Call @ 9pm ET, 8pm CT, 7pm MT, 6pm PT
October 9th: Second Group Coaching Call @ 9pm ET, 8pm CT, 7pm MT, 6pm PT
Week of October 13th: Individual Coaching Call (scheduled individually)
Week of October 20th: Buddy calls
The regular cost for this program is $660 USD ($165 per month), however, I wish to offer this entire program to 10 people for $165 USD ( which is the equivalent of three free months of group and individual coaching.) In addition, if you sign up by June 20th, you will receive 20% off the $165.
Space is limited so
Posted by Pam at 6:31:02 PM in Creating Change (98) | Permalink | Comments (0)
Monday, April 21, 2008
Cracked Heels and Itchy Weaknesses
While most may have one Achilles Heel, I seem to have two.
Does having two make me any more special than anyone else? Certainly not! Does it make me more deserving of praise and accolades? “Oh, check Pam out, she has not one, but two Achilles Heels. Isn't she cool?” Nope! Don't think so.
So what does it make me? Human! It makes me human.
And while I have two, there is one in particular that bothers me most; it's dried, cracked, sometimes hurts, itches like hell, and thus far has evaded “remedy”.
My major Achilles Heel is the fear of losing the things that are most important to me.
So when I am feeling the fear of loss in the form of negative thoughts, I try and replace those thoughts with more positive ones. While that often provides temporary relief, temporary is no longer good enough! A long-term cure is what I'm after.
In searching for that cure I asked the following question (err..questions) “Why do I fear loss and what can I do to remove it?”
The remedy/answer did not come right away. As a matter of fact, it waited a day and came during a coaching session with a client. The answer was, “We have a tendency to hang on for dear life to things that are most important. In hanging on in a white-knuckled fashion, we cloud the good aspects of those things and minimize our ability to enjoy them. Have faith; faith in yourself and faith that all that is important will remain as long as you believe in those things. Be grateful for them, be present, and trust.”
Now it's your turn, dear readers and fellow bloggers, what's your Achilles Heel(s)? What are you willing to do to ease the cracking and itch?
Posted by Pam at 9:21:35 PM in Creating Change (98) | Permalink | Comments (0)
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Drama! Who Needs It?
"I don't live in a soap opera so I don't choose to be a part of one."
I am not going to spoil this wonderful quote from my 13 year old son with a huge explanation. I will just say, wise words to ponder, dontcha think?
Posted by Pam at 11:04:34 PM in Creating Change (98) | Permalink | Comments (0)
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Driver or Passenger Seat?
The hardest thing often to relinquish is being in the driver’s seat (in control). Let’s face it, it’s difficult not to have control, especially over events or even people (yep, people) who are important to us. Why? Because we have to be reliant on something or someone else to help create the desired outcome we are after…to help get us to where we want to go.
Two weeks ago I shared with all of you how I became vulnerable by putting my deep personal feelings out there. This was a wonderful and tough thing to do; it was wonderful to let the other person know just how much I love and care for him, but at the same time it was difficult to get out of the driver’s seat and into the passenger seat. (To this day, I still have to practice letting go of the outcome.)
You see, the only things I had control over in this situation were my own feelings and how I chose to share them. I did not have control over how my feelings would be received and the response I would ultimately get. Now, it is a matter of being the best person I can be to myself and this person, letting go of the outcome, and having faith (all things I have control over) that what is meant to be, will.
I’ll admit, it’s tough to let go of the wheel and at the same time it is so easy to fall prey to trying to force or push things along. Yep, been there, done that; trying to force the outcome produced results far from what I really wanted. In the long run it wasn’t worth it.
So what’s a person to do?
First things first, it helps to distinguish what you truly have control over in the current situation. If it helps, ask yourself the following questions, “What do I have control over?” and “What don’t I have control over?” Getting clear and creating awareness around when you are in the driver’s seat and when you are in the passenger’s seat is half the battle.
Of the things you have control over make a commitment to execute them in a constructive fashion; meaning knowing when to put on the gas and knowing when to ease off a bit and just coast. Remember, it’s a fine balance; gunning the gas pedal is not always the best option. Sometimes you have to drive as if you are “Driving Miss Daisy”, slowly, steadily, and reliably.
Now it’s your turn. When was the last time you forced your way into the driver’s seat? What happened? What happened the last time you sat back, were completely present, and enjoyed the ride?
(Image courtesy of www.pedalcar.com)
Posted by Pam at 5:32:53 PM in Creating Change (98) | Permalink | Comments (0)
Sunday, March 16, 2008
I Feel So Vulnerable
In my very humble opinion vulnerability gets a bad rap. By its own definition it is in and of itself vulnerable to negative connotations. It’s often equated to being REALLY exposed and susceptible to major hurt. While that is true, there is a positive flip-side to being vulnerable.
I think I am hearing a collective, “What? What could possibly be the positive flip-side to being vulnerable?”
OK guys, this is just my opinion and based on my own personal experience; being vulnerable is being human. It is sharing my truest feelings, the ones that come from heart. It is sharing ME fully, the good and not so good. It is an opportunity for growth, deeper relationships, and realness. It is NOT in any way a means to becoming a doormat. No way! I get to choose when, where, and the people I am vulnerable with. Let me give you an example…
Just recently I shared some very deep, personal feelings with a VERY special person. I was real, I was open, and I was vulnerable as hell. (Not to mention scared to bits.) Yes, I was exposed and susceptible to hurt, but that was the chance I CHOSE to take. Why? Because I knew that if I was not willing to be a bit vulnerable and willing to put myself out there I would NEVER know the potential possibilities available. All I would know was the feelings I had deep inside and the “what ifs” attached to not sharing.
Basically, I felt I had more to gain than I did to lose by being vulnerable. Whatever the outcome I was being true to me, being true to my feelings, and my own integrity and that is NEVER a bad thing. Oh, and guess what? The outcome was not negative. Quite to the contrary, it was wonderful!! I gained in so many ways, more than I could have EVER imagined.
So here’s to coming out from behind the safety of the shadows and letting the truest, realest person shine through. Next time you are afraid to be a bit vulnerable, please ask yourself the following, “Do I have more to gain or more to lose by being me and sharing who I really am with the world?”
Peace, Love, and Light to all of you!!
P.S. In the spirit of being vulnerable I am asking for your help. It is my goal in the next two weeks to gain 100 subscribers to the Weekly Messages of YOUR Heart so together we can tune into our own hearts and really make a huge difference. If you or someone you know wants to dig a bit deeper, have a bit more fun each week, and learn something really cool about you, please consider subscribing. It is of no cost to you other than some time. Please help me to make my goal, and in turn help make this world a more loving and fun place for all. THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart!!
Posted by Pam at 5:15:11 PM in Creating Change (98) | Permalink | Comments (6)
